Being The Scotch Guard: January 2009

Okay that's it I'm really pissed (an inspired) now. I want to move to NYC and I'm going to do it NOW! God was right! (He's saying DUHHH! Right now) But one of my friends from college is in NYC right now, living and actively becoming a photographer (my childhood dream). I'm so fucking jealous it hurts me to the bone. lol oh well my fault for not taking an active role in my own life!

Well it comes down to two camera outfits to choose from. Nikon's new D3x or Canon's 1Ds-Mark III. I don't know which one to get. Both are great cameras and both cost a hell of a lot of money. So, it really depends on what I'm shooting right? Well, yes in one aspect but it's not so simple.

I shoot fashion. Plain and simple and fashion encompasses a lot of visual needs. It covers portraiture, journalism, product, and sports. (Well at least it does for me I ask a lot of my models
and it just works for me.) So, with that said, I'm still at a loss. All I have is a list of the stuff that I need for either brand:

1 camera body, 4 lenses, 2-4- CF cards, 4 UV filters, 4 Polarizing filters, 2 flashes, 2-3 batteries, portable HD with viewing capability, 4-lens shades, camera bag, cleaning kit, ND Filters, etc....

So now which one is the better one. Or I could just bye the camera I really want a Hasselblad H3D!! Or the New Leica S2!!

Well, I guess I will start this post by saying what I really feel. "I REALLY HATE MY JOB!!" I've been there for just a month and I feel like my brain is trying to atrophy. Working as a PA sucks expecially when you're working on your Masters Degree!! Everyone thinks your some kind of dumbass, beacuse of the position's title. But I'm like hello!!! I applied for my PhD, and have a 3.71 GPA (was a 4.0 until last semester but I'll save that for another post)!! I'm not some idiot who can't do anything else.

I took the job to get experience working in the film world (i.e. on the job training). But, I've gotten nothing! I'd be better off learning by buying the software, getting the manual out, a few other "idea" books and learning this my damn self. UGH!! Plus the drive to work is too fucking far. It wasn't bad until I found that this was a do nothing, learn nothing, pay nothing job. WTF! It's time for me to split. My grades mean more to me than something like this. So, I'm going to have to cut my losses as soon as I get the actual work I was hired for done.

I have to split. No questions asked.

SO, that leads me to the reason for this post. Finding a new job! Well I have found some options but I don't know if I should just focus on building myself as a brand instead. Who knows. I'll keep this post running for a while to update and keep track of life.

Well, more than event happened on inauguration day. I found a new puppy too. While coming back from the UPS store on my daily mail rounds, I spotted a white fuzzy lump staggering in the road. She was literally at a crossroads. I pulled over and picked her up off of the street, and she was extremely scared. She tried to get away but just gave up. Her nose and right paw was bloody and when I picked her up she peed. (UGH!)

But some people stopped to ask if that was my dog. I replied no and stated that I thought she may have been hit by something. this notion was confirmed when Another woman stopped and stated that the dog had just been hit by a construction truck.

I rushed her to the closest vet and got her some attention. And wham there you have it a new puppy! She's a 8 month old Bison Frise, and I named her Courtney (Love!). Because she looked so darn beat up when I found her. Oh well, I like Hole anyway!

What the hell people, why is GA always so far behind the times! WTF, I know this is the South and all but I had no idea that there was a time warp down here too. So, far every skate shop is in random placed in N. GA. What gives there's nothing up there but trees. WTF, are they doing up there Bigspin Boardslides and Backside Smith Grinds off of a f***ing tree branch?

Last time I checked all of the rails, stairs, and sidewalks were in the Metro Area.

So here are the shops I know of down in a reasonable area of town:

Stratoshpere Skateboards
1141 Euclid Ave NE
Atlanta, GA 30307

Skate Escape
1086 Piedmont Ave.
Atlanta, GA 30309

Ruin
6125 Roswell Rd NE Ste 212
Atlanta, GA 30328-3905
Phone: (404) 943-1178

Southside Skate Shop
215 Wildwood Dr
Stockbridge, GA 30281-1758
Phone: (678) 565-9798
(Never Been Here Before Testing the waters Weds)

Ambush Boarding Co. (Of Course, might as well list them)
2555 Cobb Place Lane
Kennesaw, GA 30144
770.420.9111

Dudes at Ambush if you stumble across this note, could you please open a shop in Midtown, or the South Side. Stop being a bunch of douche bags. You know that shit is ridiculous, I spent more on gas getting up there then the actual board.

Please if you know of anymore. List them here!!! I'm miffed and desperate so any suggestions are welcome. Anything really. This crap is harder to find then a model caliber guy who's well endowed. Sheesh! But seriously, I need a new board and I don't think I can fit on a Tech Deck. Maybe I'm acting crazy and unreasonable or I might be totally out of the loop.

Well I have a lot to talk about today. And I'll post them in 5 different posts to make it easy to read and easy to remember. The topics are: the Inauguration of a new President, finding a new dog, getting a new job, camera gear, school (and new schools ugh), and not being able to find many skateboarding shops in Atlanta. The order will be random and I may add more but here goes.....

Wow, never in my life did I ever expect to see an African American President. But here it is in less then a few hours American will have its first. Four years to make things happen, all over the world I sense this is a window of opportunity that will soon close. But I plan on getting more than just my foot in the door. I'm getting ever appendage in. Only sucky thing is that I have to work tomorrow. So instead of celebrating this with my family I'll be celebrating it with my boss and a coworker. That's pretty unexpected as well. (Snowing all the way up there to boot.)

Well life is what you make of it and I intend to make it grand. I'm still on a hunt for my new home and a new job with it. I look forward to getting my new camera gear. And I even started learning a new language today! Russian! Wow it's a hard one. (But anything worth knowing is never easily gained). I plan on learning, relearning, and refreshing a lot of things and skills this year. Now is not a time to be lazy. Fortune favors the bold and I plan on being a bold as anyone can be. And then some.

I have a few more goals to get to, this one is based purely on vanity. But I want to get into a straight 10. My dream size for a very long time. I'm finished losing weight after that. This is the one area I wish was super easy, but damn if it isn't

Well, in my last post I waxed poetically about posting everyday and here it is I skipped five days. Not a good start. Oh well I have to keep going. Lapsing is no excuse. This post might be short but I'm still a going to do it. Well the past week has been pretty uneventful, both at work and mostly at home. I've been looking at Apartments and condos in NYC and damn they are expensive. The cheapest place was about $395K and it was a hovel. A decent place costs around $500K and a place that I would actually be proud to live in cost around $1.3 Million. Okay, did I miss something here or isn't that a tad ridiculous. I hope they have jobs that can pay for that kind of rent and the other things that make life bearable. Like food, water, clothing, transportation, and a moderate amount of transportation. Sheesh. Who would have thought it costs THAT much to live in NYC. Oh yeah plus the cost of MBA tuition. Man this is not looking pretty, but I haven't lost hope yet. Even when all of the odds stack up against you, if God says you need to go and you get His endorsement all those problems turn into opportunities.

Well this year is a year to keep promises to myself. The first of which is to post something to this blog everyday. Something anything just to keep current and to get things out of my head. This is my personal journal. To get things done and to get things started you have to have a plan and that's the one thing that I have always lacked. Well, that and being fickle. I can never decided what direction to go in. Film making, photography, drawing, guitarist. Why not all of them?? And if all of them why can't I settle down and focus? 

Well I made the first step on my journey yesterday and announced that I was going to transfer out of my MBA program. And as a declaration of such, I did not turn in my graduation application. It was a shock to the rest of the class, as well as the director of the program, but that's life. I'm now working on my app to USC. I need to ask if they accept some transfer credits! But anyway, I'm still well on my way to getting out of this mess. 

Well, here it is the working plan for my escape. I want to be in NYC no later than the beginning of April. That's it that's the deadline. I'm going to take the summer off and start at NYU in the fall of 2009 to finish my MBA. The deadline for the Part-time program is in May for the Fall semester. I also have to give my boss at least a 2-week notices of my departure.

I want to get my digital camera package and new computer before I go. I also need to retake the GMAT and publish a paper. Or, whatever who knows I'll figure it out when I get to it. Then that's it I'm off. But my gut feeling is just to leave today. Right now. Ugh. I really need to get the hell out of here. Fuck the plan. I want to go now, now, now. And you know what, that's faith. But, I don't have money for gas or a ticket. Damn. I really need some money now. I'm really starting to feel like an outsider here. So, I better get some of my stuff together soon. Real soon.

Well, a while back I subscribed to a site called 43 things. It's a site where you list all the things you want to accomplish and you share them with others. Well, I did that and at the top of my list was: To talk to God face-to-face. Well, around 12:00pm today it happened. Not in the way I expected it to be, but it happened none the less.

I was in Borders, and one of my aunt's friends from her former job showed up. She's currently in seminary school, and they began to catch up with each other. And it was during that conversation that everything she started talking about was a reinforcement of what my aunt had been telling me for years. We started to chat a little bit when I felt a little more comfortable around her. And damn if she just didn't call out all of my fears about myself and my future. A total and complete stranger (at least to me) calls me out in the middle of a bookstore. Hmm, I guess God felt up to the challenge of talking to me.

So, the message of the story was this. I need to stop being so damn afraid of stepping out on my own, stop blaming and being angry at others for a situation I put myself in, move to NYC, and get a job up there as a photographer. Live and mature as a person, because this was more of urgency then a 5 year goal. Go, and go now. Not later, not 1-year or even 6-months out, NOW. So, the procrastinator in me asked, "should I graduate first?" No. You have graduated. Today is your graduation. Congrats! Go now.

In general she said, "He has a purpose for your life that no one else can do." SO, I'm going now. I'm packing my bags, buying my ticket and I'm headed out. To hell with work, I'll get another job. Fuck school, I can transfer to another. NYC here I come. Camera, Guitar, and clothes in tote.

Can't believe he actually called me out. Damn he really is watching me. So God, what do you want me to do, or will you tell me when I land? (tell me now I don't like surprises, but today's was pleasant but scary).

Well, at my age you can't take time lightly anymore. I feel like I don't have anymore to waste. So here are the things that I am going to accomplish this year.

Serious Goals:
1. Go back to my original love, Photography, and make a career of it.
2. Expand into filmmaking seriously, starting with cinematography and expanding into directing and screenwriting.
3. Start back drawing again and actually sell some of my work.
4. Submit a film to at least 1 film festival for the 2010 season.



Fun goals (you can't do the serious stuff without having a little fun mixed in):
1. Surfing (it's either Australia or Hawaii for this one)
2. Riding my motorcycle (there's no place I can't take it)
3. Playing my guitar (in public)
4. Visit a skate park and skateboard (next best thing to surfing)

Get fit and healthly (yeah this is never fun, but to get into that wetsuit w/o looking like a seal you have to make some sacrifices. ugh.)

I have the goals, now I have to throw down the world's most awesome plan to get to them all. (10,000 hours a piece and God's intervention) Man, this really is going to make a great underdog story and be a hell of a ride. Hmm, smells like a movie to me.

Well after taking an awesome tongue lashing the other day by my aunt I might change my goals a bit. (Even though I haven't posted them yet) My aunt has put me to take with one of the biggest challenges ever. Basically she said stop fooling myself and go back to my original goals of making movies and being a photographer.

She basically picked apart every career goal that I have had recently. Saying that I only choose those because of the money. (Which is true). "Stop bullshitting and pulling a 'Bill' settle on one thing and keep with it!" "Every time you go to the bookstore or go shopping, or spend money at all it's never on 'your career' it's always in Filmmaking and Photography. Stop fooling yourself"

Well that's basically it, I have been fooling myself. So I' going back to basics. She's right so, I'm going to settle back into what I know.

And I'm not the one to lay down without a fight so I gave her the equally hard challenge of taking acting classes and auditioning for a role in a movie. And acting in character she accepted. So, this year is definitely going to be a wild ride.

So one of the things in my life I am yet to conquer is my tendency toward hesitation and procrastination. Even in the past few days it's began to hake hold of me once again. I once heard that procrastination was just a futile attempt at extending time. And I'm starting to believe it. I want more time, but it's not going to happen. So I need to create my own marching orders for the things i plan on doing for the year. Otherwise, I might back out on it. So for the next few posts I'm going to be laying out my plan for the year and beyond.

I was never good at planning anything. I usually just jump headlong into it and go under the circumstances of sink or swim. Thank God, He's allowed me to swim thus far. Or float rather, because I haven't really went anywhere. I've just been coasting in one spot for about a quarter century. Oops! So, here we go. So the first part of the planning process is ironing out the goals.

As for the Finance homework, what can I say. I like math, but the teachers that I have had in Accounting and Finance were basically crap. They were some of the laziest I have come across. Which is sad, because those subject would be a complete turn if it wasn't for the sheer fact of determination. So, accomplishing this homework is going to be a test of the wills.

What do I want to accomplish you ask? (Well, even if you didn't ask I'm going to tell you anyway.) First things first I wanted to finish up my PhD application for NYU (January 10th Deadline). Secondly, I want to submit my resume to the NBCU Entertainment Associates' Program (Jan 15th Deadline) and WB's MBA internship (Not sure about the deadline). Then, I want to get done with my finance homework (Jan 10th Deadline). Pretty simple goals, but they are the text pad for the rest of the year.

For NYU, I have to write the essay and letter of intent. Why I have no idea, in this day and age they should be happy that people even want to learn! I want to go into a highly specialized field and I think I'll add value at NYU and whatever school I teach at. Media Economic Strategy, how many people specialize in that! Geez guys, just let me in. I work hard, I have a way above average IQ and I like to learn. Isn't that enough? We'll see.

Same with the NBCU, plus some other essays about why I want to do it and if I am creative enough. Bottom line is that if I didn't love film, I woudn't have taken a crap job as a PA working for 10 bucks an hour as a MBA student. I would have signed on to some high paying corporate job paying $90K+ a year. If that doesn't show dedication to the craft, then I don't know what does.

I feel pretty optimistic about it all. I look forward to listing my goals for the year and seeing them through.

This year I'm going to be a lot different than I have in the past. I really want to make a conscious effort not to be a whiny complaining do nothing critical jerk! I want to have the life I daydream about. So I'm going to set out of my head and live it instead of dreaming it. Dreams are okay as long as they are not all you have. 2009 feel so much better, I feel optimistic and actually happy for once in my life. Hmm, that is something.

So in a effort to do all of the things I have set out before myself, I am going to make my list public so that I will be held accountable. I think one of the many reasons I never finish my goals is because I never let people know what the hell I'm doing. (other include: lack of faith, fear, rejection, laziness, procrastination, and being overwhelmed with the steps in-between).

But this has got to change and 2009 is the year to do it. There is not time like the present.

Well 2009 is here and i have places to see and people to do! But it seems as if the cards are stacking against my little adventures for the year! Bombs, air strikes, terrorist attacks! Darn what is the world coming to can't a girl hop on a place to get a break!

First Up: Location Scouting
Well after way to long in the south the family has finally decided to move from the ATL. One option is cool the other is not so good. The first place that I feel is really great is Las Vegas, the other one is Savannah and while it is nice I HATE THE SOUTH!!! But I have my potentials as well. They include: Boston, Portland, NYC, LA, London, Greece, and Osaka. (Greece and Osaka hold a speical place in my heart because they were also the locations my Grandfather wanted to set up house, and I really can't argue with the old man. He knows his crap!)

Second Round: Educational Pursuits
The second place I want to travel to is India on the MBA short course in May. But after the attacks in Mumbai, I really don't want to end up as a hostage! But I like a little danger so I still might go. Plus it's class credit and I may be able to graduate early! If I don't do that there are a ton of things that could take it's place! Like Greece or London.

Third's a Charm:
August marks another departure China is a great place! Tax free designer goods, Dim Sum, great teas, and hot Asian guys! Yay! 2 weeks in Hong Kong! I can't wait to venture out and explore!

Fourth is More than luck:
The one I am really looking forward to is my surfing trip!!!! But I just don't know which place to go to. Hawaii or Australia?? Hmm, hot tan blond Aussies or hot naturally tan Native Hawaiian guys. Either way I need to decide, or as I always do..... don't decided and go to BOTH!!

2009 is going to be fucking awesome!!